Feb 22 2013
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Aw, damn. Just had to flush my kid's fish down the toilet. Y'all pour out some fish flakes for our homie, Honey Boo Boo Shanaynay. Hope the girl's not too sad when she gets home.

Feb 6 2013
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There should be a warning label on powdered doughnuts packaging that congested people shouldn't eat them due to a high risk of aspiration. I'm glad no one was around to see me cough my mouth-breathing face off. Stupid cold.